Growing up as an only child taught me a lot about enjoying solitude. I never had an imaginary friend. And I don’t remember ever feeling particularly bored on my own. Feeling content and more than enough with my own presence was something that carried through into adulthood. So it came as no surprise to me that my first solo vacation was one of the best experiences in my life so far.
Should Single Women Travel Solo?
There’s a certain segment of people who, for some reason, take offense at single women traveling or just enjoying their life alone.
Why is it so hard to believe I can be truly happy, even if I’m having dinner for one? Am I not whole enough as a person, am I not deserving enough of good experiences? Is it that much of an impossibility that my life is fulfilling without the presence of a romantic partner? Or should I be “punished” for my single status by crying and being miserable all the time, because what could possibly carry any meaning in a woman’s existence if she doesn’t have a man or child?
My question is: why would someone get so offended at a woman just living life? Let’s redefine these stereotypes that contribute nothing but hostility towards one another. Solo traveling is something every woman should try to do at least once in a lifetime. Not with a partner, family, or friend. Just you. And the great, big, wonderful world of finite things you can infinitely explore.
Before I let you in on why solo travel is good for you, let’s answer some of the most common questions people often ask:
Is Solo Travel Lonely?
It doesn’t have to be! Depending on where you’re going, you can socialize with people along your trip. That’s an especially liberating challenge if you’re someone who is introverted and socially anxious (like I am). There’s so much you can learn from those momentary conversations you have on the train, at the hotel lobby, with the local vendors.
You’ll likely speak to locals less if you’re traveling with your friends, so a solo trip is a great way to meet others and immerse yourself in the environment. And you can always entertain yourself with people watching and writing down your thoughts in your favorite journaling notebook.
Where Should a Single Woman Travel Alone?
You can solo travel all across the world, preferably in an area or country that is safe, accessible, and accepting of single women. Before booking your next vacation, do extensive research on the places you plan to visit. Thankfully there are tons of online sources where you can inform yourself about your destination and how safe it is to solo travel there as a woman.
I recommend always keeping your phone charged and on you at all times, and letting someone know where you’re going and what you’re visiting. There are apps you can use to ping your location to a trusted friend, otherwise, you can always send pics and share your location with a message. Lastly, stay present and aware of your surroundings; don’t wander alone in suspicious areas, especially late at night.
We all want the world to be perfectly safe for us to take long midnight walks in the park, but realistically that’s not the case so stay mindful and responsible when traveling alone.
Can I Solo Travel Without a Car?
You absolutely can! I went on my solo trip with a train, and while on location I walked everywhere (over 20k steps each day, there was a lot to see 😃).
Of course, this depends entirely on where you want to solo travel, but if you’re planning on visiting a city in most parts of the world there would be some form of public transportation available.
However, for trips deep in nature or in very rural areas, you’ll more than likely need a vehicle to get to and back from your destination. But this just goes back to the point of how safe solo travel for women is, and I’d say secluded areas are less preferable.
Ashamed of Loneliness?
What will people think?
We’ve been conditioned so much to be ashamed of spending time alone. When you were in school if you sat alone on a desk or ate on your own at lunch you were a “weirdo” or “loser”.
Being the outcast can become a full-time occupation, that is, if you let people’s opinions define the entirety of your self-worth.
The independent only child in me taught me how to love doing things alone, which I continued to do even while I was in relationships. Shopping, visiting new restaurants, attending events, going on long mindfulness walks across the city. Wow, it’s as if I can have my own life, full, complete, and with its own experiences and intricacies, regardless if I have a romantic partner or not.
Shocking, I know, a woman so complete she doesn’t fear drinking mocktails at the beach with her favorite historical classic in hand on her solo summer holiday. “A table for one, please” at the local pastry shop so I can try out all the delicious goodness that’s tempting me from behind their glass display.
Even when you’re truly fulfilled doing things on your own, societal judgement jumps out in the form of unrequired feedback from strangers who think they have more insight into your inner workings than you do. That’s why I like staying mostly quiet on social media, I’ve mastered the art of JOMO (joy of missing out). Living in the present without allowing anxiety about “what will people think?” control my narrative has liberated me from the need to perform my existence in a way that is tailored to please others.
Why Being Alone is so Valuable
Spending time alone means giving yourself time to think, observe, and be aware of your presence. If the solitude of your thoughts is a condition you can’t tolerate, then that is a whole different issue that needs to be resolved.
Seeking constant external validation and stimuli just to get through your day hints you might be ignoring what goes on within. We can’t expect to lead a satisfying life if internally we’re battling against ourselves. Life moves fast and you can fill it with people and things, but thoughts run faster than the blink of an eye, and sooner or later they’ll catch up with you.
Solo traveling is a great way to take yourself out of your usual environment, reflect on your inner workings, and reframe those unhealthy thought patterns.
Think of a solo trip as a prolonged meditation session where you get the opportunity to rebuild the bond with YOU. Because the only person you will spend the entirety of your life with, from the moment of conception to your very last breath, is yourself. Cherish that relationship.
Thanks for reading!
Featured image: Photo by Ibrahim Rifath on Unsplash
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